It was unexpected. My cousins now are father-less, and my auntie is now a widow. Such a drastic change can take place in an instance. On Monday my uncle passed away due to a heart attack. It was his second attack after 18 years.

He was one of my closest uncles. We weren't super close. But my sister and i would often hang around at his place. He had 7 children. What a contrast to my family. They were a household of 10 people including his mother-in-law, and my family of 4.

99.9 % of our time spent at their place would be a total blast. We'd laugh till our belly ached, and often cried of laughter. He would joke around, and his children and i will find ways to do crazy things.

But this time, we didn't cry out of joy.

My brain tells me that my Paklang was gone. But then, i think to myself...how can he be gone? He's still so alive in my memories. I can still see him laugh and sing Frak Sinatra's "my way". Everytime i think of him, i feel a great loss.

I can't imagine what my cousins and aunty is going through, and i drag the time when i have to go through the same thing. God forbid it should be anytime soon.

My paklang's funeral certainly wasn't the first funeral i've been to in my life. But out of all the funerals, his was the most devastating one. When my grand parents passed away, it didn't hit us as hard in the face with the feeling of loss. My aunties, uncles and cousins now think of what will happen to them, who lost their backbone of the family.

I see his death as an eye opener. All this while, since a couple of years ago, the relationship between my extended family hadn't been great. Everytime at a family gathering, the atmosphere would be tense with anger and such. We wouldn't even talk to some cousins or uncles or aunty. But my Paklang paid a heavy price for our sake. He had to die, before we could realise how bad our family was. Yesterday, something i haven't seen in a long while happened. We apologised, and actually had sane and civilised conversations. We were staying together for the sake of Paklang's family; my aunty and his children.

But mostly, it hit me the most, when my cousin said to me, "now... your father is my father." I couldn't help but hugged her back, while my eyes exploded with tears.

As i saw his body being wrapped up in white cloth, i couldn't help but weeped my heart out.

After the burial of my Paklang, we had a tahlil where we will pray for him. My uncles and aunties were reminising the days when they were younger... the days when they were still staying in Angson Road near Bangsar. Paklang used to be the family's protector. He once beaten up a dude who tried to disturb my aunt... My grandad had to pull Paklang away, and gave the dude (mind you he was a gangster) 10 cents to buy ice cream. My dad asked why did my grand dad do that? all he said was, " haigh!!".

Another time, his elder brother got disturbed, as well by a boy named Walter. One fine day, Paklang approached this Walter dude. With an arm on his waist, he called out, " Ei, Walter! Why you disturb my Bangah?". Bangah meant the second brother. And when my Pakngah was telling the story, everyone really felt a sense of regret for not visiting him before.

So from then on, no one tried to mess around with them siblings.

We humans are weak. We die. We go insane. We get hungry. We're not invincible physically.

We all will die. But my Paklang was a living ledgend. His good deeds, and his spirit will live on in our hearts and memories.

Al-Fatihah.